Conflicts: Listening through Parent-Child Discussions


It’s August already! As a parents of school-age children, it’s is necessary and important to remember that conflicts between a parent and a child is a way to communicate. It is never a pleasant interaction and most wish that they never have to deal with those arguments. However, in reality, this is not possible. As long as there are two people together, conflicts are going to happen eventually. So, imagine being at home more often with your children this summer break…

Conflicts and Problems

“According to Oxford Living Dictionaries, to listen is to give attention to sound or action. When listening, one is hearing what others are saying, and trying to understand what it means. The act of listening involves complex affective, cognitive, and behavioural processes”-Wikipedia

Unfortunately, when the parent and child is in conflict-mode, most of the “affective, cognitive and behavioural processes” goes out the door!
Here are some of the common problems identified by Kelty Mental Health:

  1. Rehearsal of your responses: -You are so busy thinking about how you are going to argue your point across, in response to the child’s comments.
  2. Minimizing their feelings: – We often tell the child that “It’s not that bad!” or “You are okay!” Despite their efforts to tell you that it is very bad and not okay…
  3. Judging:- As they speak, you immediately begin to judge them.
  4. Dreaming:- You are not even bothering to focus on your child. You are letting your mind wander.
  5. Identifying:- Once you hear the other person mention something that you “identify” with, you start to talk about yourself and stop listening.

First, let us really take a look at the list. Can you remember when you had a discussion with your child recently? How many times these problems occurred during that time?

Finally, listening is a skill and most of us are learning as we go along. It’s not easy, because everyone wants to be heard and to be able to express our own feelings and situation. Why not sit down and have a chat with your child about these problems that tend to surface and work to minimize them next time?

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top